Cool breezes and Coldplay

           So upon my arrival in san sebastian, I was given my own set of keys to the apartment of my host, since she was leaving for barcelona for the weekend. Time to myself.....THANK GOD!!! A well needed vacation after the madness of Pamplona. San sebastian is definately one of the smaller cities, but has a beauty that has withstanded the test of time. It is where the old kings of spain would go on summer vacation. The monarchy now summers in Mallorca, since it is less crowded. The beaches here are as beautiful as the architecture that surrounds them.
             My first night there, I just found myself wandering around admiring the sunset. I grabbed a hearty meal of pasta bolognese and had an impromtu picnic on the wall over looking some cube-like rocks and the ocean. Now, I have this rule..... When in a country, I try and eat only the cuisine native to the area, (which is pinxtos or the basque version of tapas) because who wants to go to italy to eat a burger? However, I broke my own rule because I hadn't had a nice sit down meal since I was back home and with the stomach issues of Pamplona I had lost 5 pounds and was feeling malnourished. After my belly was full, I went home and drifted off into a deep sleep.
            The next day, I slept in a bit. The sky was a bit cloudy, but it cleared up in the afternoon so I decided to go to the beach for some well needed sun. I had heard that the beaches in Europe were mostly topless, but before stripping down I wanted to be sure. I didn't want to end my trip early beacuse I had been arrested in Europe for indecent exposure. So I set up my towel and looked to see if what I had been told was true. At first, there weren't any topless women to be found. Then slowly but surely they came out of the woodwork and began appearing like ants to a picnic. The first topless woman I saw was in her mid 20's and was cuddled up on a towel with her boyfriend. Then I saw about a half a dozen women in their 50's lounging on the beach.
              So, I decided that if THEY could do it.... so could I!!!! But, it was time to pay the piper so to speak. I felt the same as I did the first time I went skinny dipping. As if I were doing something illegal, even though it is perfectly legal in San sebastian. I slowly peeled my top off while carefully looking for wandering eyes or shouts from the nearby lifeguards to put my clothes back on! But with no such response, I proceeded. In fact, in seemed as if no one even cared!!! There was not so much as a batting of an eyelash as I rubbed sunscreen on my nipples to keep them from sunburning, since that once one experience I did NOT want to have on my european adventure.
               In america, there would be men sneaking around on the beaches with thier camera phones idely standing by. But.... not in Europe. Women of all sizes and ages are allowed to be just as free as a kid at the beach. It is a completely liberating experience to feel accepted just as you are. To feel so close to nature and feel the warmth of the sun beating down on you without judgement. So, I enjoyed a quick swim in the ocean and spent the remainder of the afternoon listening to the song 'yellow' by coldplay and being content with just being me.

HIGHLIGHTS:
-The topless beaches!!
-The breathtaking sunsets
-San sebastian has the most michelin star restaurants per square meter of any city in europe.

LOWLIGHTS:
-All the mayonaisse in the pinxtos (basque tapas)... Im still not over my mayonaisse poisoning!

Hours traveled: 35
Miles traveled: 8,104

the wall I sat on to eat my dinner

topless beach

watching the clouds go by

the sunsets in san sebastian

RUN!!!! BROOKE... RUN!!!

              "Olaaaaay.... olay, olay,olaaaayyyy......," the crowds behind the wooden barriers echo out harmoniously. The faint smell of sangria on the ground pierces my nostrils as I rub the sleep from my eyes. It's early... a little TOO early. The run starts at 8am, but I've been up since 6am in order to get there early enough to be able to run. It was about a half hour walk to the old part of the city from where I was staying, so my muscles are nice and warmed up.

               The shops on the street have been boarded up and they've hosed the streets down and cleaned up the trash from the chupinazo the day before. But, this has left the ground slightly damp. I wonder to myself if it will be dry in time, or if I'll have to add the slippery cobbled stones to the long list of dangers that this run entails. The run is about a half a mile in distance but I'm sure the added pressure of having the bulls behind me will make it feel like the longest run of my life. It only takes the bulls three minutes to reach the plaza de torros, which is a bull fighting ring at the end.

               There is only an hour left now until they release the bulls. They release six lead oxen and six bulls with dagger sharp horns. In 1996, a 25 year old man was gored straight through the middle and died within minutes. The people I was staying with had been nice enough to show me the clip of this, so it was now running through my mind over and over like reruns of old horror movies on Halloween day.

               The running of the bulls is an old tradition that had begun for a variety of reasons. During July in Pamplona, the cattle merchants would bring their bulls to town and bullfights were popular at this time of year. However, October 10th is when they would celebrate the Saint Fermin, who was said to have met his end by being dragged through the streets of Pamplona by bulls. They ended up moving the san fermin festival to the same time period in July in order to have better weather. So, the combination of these two celebrations are what gave the San Fermin festival its start. It is now one week of bull runs from the 7th until 16th of July. It was made famous, however by the writer Ernest Hemingway who was quite fond of the festival. (He was also a fan of the famous iruna cafe in plaza castillo where I had an unappetizingly overpriced lunch the day before. It hadn't lived up to the hype).
                  "WHIIIIZZZZZ....POP!!!!" The sound of the first rocket wakes me from my daze. That means the bulls have been released. My face turns as white as the clothes I'm wearing and my mind completely goes blank except for one word "RUN!" The crowds of people begin to run. However, it is so crowded that there is a lot of shoving. The people behind me are shoving me forward while I am pushing the people in front of me in order not to fall forward. It is like molecules of a gas colliding and ricocheting trying to escape out of an open container. As the gas is heated, the molecules gain energy and collide at a faster pace. The heating source of this particular experiment appears to be the bulls!!!

                 As they approach there is an uproar of commotion and panic. You could cut the fear in the air with a knife. Men are trying to trip each other, people are losing there footing and falling, and an occasional person jumps over the barriers themselves!! Most are pressed against the sides of the buildings themselves creating a wall of people along the street. This is where I've found myself......pressed up against the sides. I can't seem to escape, but it is probably for the better since the bulls run by shortly after.

                 I see a flash of bulls, horns and people from the safety of my wall of humans. People begin running after the bulls in order to get into the ring at the end. They close the ring shortly after the last bull makes it into the arena. If you make it into the ring, the dangerous bulls are safely tucked away and smaller bulls are released into the crowd. The smaller bulls have their horns wrapped, but they do charge the runners and it is mostly for amusement of the crowds in the stands. If you make it into the arena too soon however, the locals throw carrots and things at you.

                I, however, was not lucky enough to make it into the ring. This is because the last bull of the run decided that the tunnel into the arena was a great place to lie down, which blocked the path of the runners. The guys with the big sticks who are in charge of making sure the bulls are running and that no one is harming the bulls, were hitting anyone who tried to sneak along the side of the bull into the arena. It reminded me of a nun in school smacking the bad students with a ruler.

                Overall, the bull run goes over without a hitch. The next day, the headlines read "Clean start to San Fermin," since besides a few scrapes and bloody noses no one had been seriously injured. Later, I met someone on my bus who had been trampled and had his arm dislocated. There were also a few more gorings later in the week but no deaths. I had survived. I had taken the bull by the horns, so to speak and lived to tell the tale. So, in my book, this san fermin had been a success. Now, onto rest and relaxation on the beaches of San Sebastian.

Video of bull run from that day:
 http://youtu.be/X95f_dEqTNY

Miles traveled so far: 8,053
Hours traveled: 33

                If you are not the adventurous sort, you can actually safely simulate running with the bulls with a virtual reality run in the san fermin museum on Estafeta street. But if you do decide to run, I would suggest walking the course before the festivities begin like I did. You can even view the different breeds of bulls that will be in the run for 3 euros at the beginning of the course. Also another little travel tip is that they sell the professional photos of the run in the plaza castilla. You can go there after and look at the photos to see if your in any of them but it's a little like playing "where's Waldo."


Highlights of pamplona:
-adrenaline rush of the run
-the biggest party festival I've ever seen!
-the prices of food and clothes is one of the cheapest I've seen
-They've also got a carnival where you can go and ride some rides
Lowlights:
-The town smells of urine since people pee in the street and any other place they can find. Also bathroom lines are ridiculously long.
-The sticky sangria everywhere.
-The danger of getting robbed, one of my travel mates got distracted by a cigerette burn and his camera taken.

CHUPINAZO!!!!

            I woke up that morning with a stomach full of regret. It could have been the excessive drinking or that bad mayonaisse coming back to literally bite me in the ass, I'll never know. But, the next few days I bounced to and from the bathroom like some kind of sick and twisted teather ball game. But I tried not to let it stop me from enjoying Pamplona.

           On the 6th of July the running of the bulls festival, which is known as San Fermin, has its opening ceremonies. At noon, a rocket is shot from the balcony of their city hall. Everyone dresses in white from head to toe with a red sash around their waist and a 'panuello' or scarf around their neck. You can buy the sash and scarf for 6 euros and you can also find cheap white clothes since this time of year they have TONS of 'rebajas,' or sales. I would suggest not investing in too expensive of clothing because it is going to get doused in sangria, wine, sweat, dirt and god knows what else. But make sure to dress the part because you don't want to be labeled a 'girri,' or tourist.

DRESS THE PART!

           For the chupinazo, everyone packs into the city. They estimated that this year there were one million people in the city for san fermin. It is impossible to move really. You typically just get tossed to and fro with the masses. It is like being stuck in a sea of drunk people during a storm, complete with the spray of sea water (or in this case sangria) in your face. There is pandamonium everywhere. It is easy to get separated from people and even harder to find them again since everyone is wearing the same thing!

the crowds

WARNING: you will get bitten! :) note my friend patxi's face on the left side of picture.

           The clubs are packed with people and the streets are sticky. I even got bitten on two separate occasions. I was walking by, and a drunk guy bit me on my shoulder in order to get my attention! I came armed with a bota (or leather sack) filled with sangria. You can use these to spray wine into your mouth or onto other people. The partying typically carries on late into the night. But, I decided to go to bed earlier than most (1am) in order to get a good nights sleep for the bull run I had in front of me the following day.

If you would like an idea of what the chupinazo is like, then see the following link:
http://youtu.be/HKTmfaPNPiU

The road from madrid to pamplona...

           My final days in Madrid were enjoyable. I met with another local in the area and we went out for montaditos, which are these little sandwiches with different fillings. I tried the jamon iberico which is a ham that is revered in spain as the best and most expensive and one that I was eager to try. The pigs eat acorns almost exclusively which is supposed to be able to be tasted in the meat of the pig, but I honestly couldnt tell the difference. It was good, but i know later I won't be finding myself back home craving it like a ham hungry crackhead or anything. After that, we went for some tea at an arabian restraunt, where we sipped our tea quietly as the couple next to us provided the background noises of a lipsmacking makeout session.

           Later that night there was a gay pride festival in Madrid. There were several stages set up on gran via street and about 100,000 people made it out to the event. There were people drinking in the streets and ornately decorated "locas," which is the local word for drag queens. The energy in the air was energetically vibrant, as was the music. We walked around some, but then headed to a local jazz club to enjoy some music and have some intelligent conversation with a college music professor. We ended up making it home at the crack of 5am as is accustomed in spain. Most restaraunts dont even open for dinner until 9pm, so the Spanish are a late night people.

            On sunday, I did a jaunt of shopping at the outdoor Rastro market. It was one of the better markets that I have been to, I must say. I stopped into a nearby place for tapas which is popular to do between 2-4pm, after the rastro closes. Tapas are a sort of spanish snack. They are to tide you over until that late night dinner. There are typically small portions and are eaten while standing with a alcoholic (or on the rare occasion non alcoholic) drink. Olives or other little portions are sometimes given for free with the purchase of your drink. I imagine it's a similar idea to why american bars give you pretzels or salted nuts at a bar. The saltiness makes you even more thirsty.

caracoles

shopping at the rastro

             I had "caracoles," or snails. (This is where the Andrew Zimmerman part of me kicks in). You have to take a toothpick to pry these little guys out of the shell. I found them quite delicious. I also tried the orejas, or pigs ears which I also enjoyed. But, I said "no thanks," when I was offered the lambs stomach, because my own stomach was already stuffed beyond its means. With my belly full of tapas, I made my way to the prado museum for a few hours of free art (travelers hint: its free 6-8pm during the week and 5-8 on sundays, but i think there closed monday but im not sure on that one). The art was great but a bit monotonous at times. The key exhibits they are known for are Velazquez and De Goya, so i focused on those and three hours was plenty enough for me.

             That brings me to Pamplona. I arrived and the people I was staying with picked me up at the bus station. It was a man named Antonio and his girlfriend Estefani. When we arrived at the flat, I met the other three flatmates. Only one spoke english, while another I couldn't understand a WORD that he said. I speak spanish but for some reason, I just couldnt understand him. After the introductions, Antonio's girlfriend brought me some food and kulumutxu (wine mixed with coke). It was noodles with mayonaisse and BBQ sauce. I HATE mayonaisse, but it was so kind of them to let me stay for free in their house since hostels and hotels are booked 8 months in advance for this time period. So, I politely gobbled up every last bite....... I would later regret this decision. I hadn't even given it a second thought when I saw Antonio out of the corner of my eye smelling the mayonnaisse and having a brief discussion with his girlfriend if it had gone bad.

               The next day I ended up wandering the streets of pamplona exploring it alone. I had some AMAZING tapas at the bars on Estafeta street. However, as I was looking for a cafe with wifi access, I somehow ended up becoming entangled in some drinking games with a stag party (bachelor party) with some guys from the UK. They made me feel as if I were one of "the guys." They even gave me my own toy soldier. When one of them said "soldiers!!! present arms!" You were to get in the position of your toy soldier. The last to do this, had to drink. But, it hardly seemed fair since the person who seemed to always be losing these games was the drunkest member of the group that they had endearingly nicknamed "finchie," after the guy from the movie american pie whom he slightly resembled. We all ended up going to their campsite (camping escabar) to have some more drinks.

The stag party, finchie is the one asleep standing in the pic.

               The campsite was as nice as campsites can be. I would definately recommend them to anyone looking for a cheap place to stay for San Fermin. Although the bathrooms were as gross as any typical camp sight or beach bathroom for that matter. In one of them, someone had actually took a crap on the ground. But dispite this, there was a good time had by all. Eventually I got so exceedingly drunk that I had to excuse myself and head home to find a nice toilet seat to cuddle with. That brings me to the morning of CHUPINAZO.... or the San fermin opening ceremonies!!!

Ah... the life of a PORNSTAR

where the magic happens, a pornstars bed

whilly rowing in el retiro park

        I had barely arrived in madrid and already i was feeling as if i had bitten off more than i could chew. The Barajas airport is so confusing. I needed a SIM card for my unlocked iphone 3 so i could get in contact with who i was supposed to be staying with. I was fresh out of the gate when I was bombarded by guys trying to sell me 200 euro SIM cards. That's a ridiculous price! I knew i could find them cheaper elsewhere. It was quite an endever finding a payphone, however and once i found the payphone, I didnt have euro coins so i had to find an ATM. So it took me about an hour to finally make the phone call to my contact here in Madrid.

           I was supposed to stay with a friend of mine, however she is out of the country at the time but arranged for me to stay with a friend of hers. Now, the interesting part is that this friend that i was going to stay with is a famous spanish pornstar. When i first learned this, i was hesitant. Would this guy be sleazy, or have hidden webcams in the bathroom? But going against my better judgement, i figured i'd give it a shot. I mean the worst that could happen is that i would have a weird story to tell my grandchildren one day.
So i waited at the airport and Whilly picked me up on foot. We hopped on the underground metro together with my luggage in tow, and proceeded to his house. Whilly had dark hair and dark eyes and was of slightly smaller stature then most american men, which is customary for spanish men. However, he seemed a bit disproportionate in his body. His forearms were slightly less long than should be and he had slight abnormality in his fingers and elbow joint. It is reminiscent of an acondroplasic dwarf but ever so slight that it was bearly noticeable to the untrained eye. But, he was all smiles when we met and he was ever so kind to take me into his place.

              As soon as we were inside, of course i began drilling him with questions. "so.... how long have you been a pornstar?" I akwardly began.... Immediately his eyes lit up and he began telling me all about his job. He got into the business 6 years ago, when a friend of his invited him to a casting and they went as sort of a joke. Whilly had always wanted to be a pornstar ever since he started masturbating to porn as a teenager. But to him it was a dream. Like a child who wants to be an astronaut when they grow up. There were 3 parts to the casting. The first was just a crowded room full of guys and a naked woman. There only task was to get an erection. Suprisingly, this was the task that most failed at. The second was a single women giving a bunch of guys oral in a round robin fashion and they were to stay hard. The third final task was to be able to "finish" on cue. Whilly passed these tasks with flying colors and out of 400 guys, 3 were chosen and he was one of them. Now he is making anywhere from a few movies a month to 3 a week.

             I asked him about a golden statue that he had proudly displayed on his mantel. It turns out that he had actually won two awards at spain's version of the AVN awards. That award was for best newcomer. We talked a lot about sex because well, lets face it.... what else are you going to talk about with a pornstar? Cooking? antiquing?

             He told me he's been with about 1000 women or so. But he says that each women and what she likes is different. His words were loosely translated "no two (almejas or) clams are alike." You hear that boys?!? I wish men would take notes on this... but maybe they will listen to an expert. There is no formula that works with each woman. First: start with a heavy makeout session, then move onto light "petting," then grab left breast with left hand and squeeze and turn in a counterclockwise motion.... NO! NO! NO! Take it from a pornstar, out of 1000 women... he has yet to find two that are identical. So, what does he do? Simple. He asks. He asks his coworkers or women to tell him if they like something or if they dont, simple as that.

               He was a very gracious host, he made me a tapas lunch and showed me around the entire city. He even took the mattress in the living room so i could sleep in his bed. I guess now i can say that ive slept in a pornstars bed. He even offered to give me an "erotic massage" complete with his patented "anal massage" that i would "like very much." He says many coworkers chose to do anal with him because of this massage. I politely decline. So sorry boys... the secrets to turning on a women with his patented "anal massage" will be safe with him. He even offered to break me into the business if I would like and invited me to make my debut on the set of the movie he is shooting this week. He said, "you will do well in this business because you are exotic and have something i just cant place my finger on." I believe the word he was looking for is je ne se quoi. But again i thank him and politely decline. But if my career in forensic toxicology doesnt pan out its nice to know i have a backfall... hahaha.

                    What is the life of a pornstar like? Well, a very stressfree one. He spends his days sleeping in and walking around the city. He has leisurely lunches and has his phone with him at all times in order to not miss a call from producers looking for their next male lead. Whilly also has a very active "social life" let's call it. He has many fans, and so many women and couples write him on his website asking for him to fulfill their sexual fantasies. As I was staying with him, he showed me an email from a young couple reguesting a threesome with him. I asked him how he responded to that? And he said that he asks for pictures and more information. One of the things Whilly enjoys is double penetration of women or women with multiple male partners. He says in an accent where the v sounds more like a b "I like this very much."
                   He also has on rare occasion guests that stay a few days in his home but he is VERY selective about these. Now what makes it through a pornstars screening process. Well, looks is only a small part. The other, which i found interesting, is personality. He told me that "looks can only take you so far, you must be open minded and we must have a connection." Whilly doesn't have relationships like most people. He has 3 month relationships that are fast but intense, he says. They never end badly, just end in a natural sort of way. He also makes live sex shows in amsterdam and brussels. The woman performer that he brings with him when he goes, aren't the hottest but they are friends of his. Even a pornstar who is living the dream knows that there is more to a women then good looks, you must have a good personality. Another lesson many men should take notes on.

               So that couple from earlier ends up sending him photos and information after all and Whilly decides to meet with them. "You are welcome to join us if you'd like," he adds. Again, I decline. I decide to get a hostel for the night so i will not be in the way of his making this young couples dream come true. But, he also has that movie he is making in alicante so this is where our road ends together. So, i bid Whilly adeu and thank him for his kind hospitality and I continue along my journey. Next stop.... running of the bulls.

Speedbumps along the way.....

           So.....the trip is already off to a rocky start. I made the mistake of visiting family on Maui before heading out. Nothing can stress you out more then a week with your family. Not a good idea when your trying to relax before an epic trip. Now dont get me wrong, i LOVE my family to the bottom of my heart and back again but sometimes tragedy strikes and you just need to regroup.

         While i was out there, three of our beloved family dogs died in a terrible accident. I was taking a nap and it seems sean, my brother and his wife went to the store to get some food. They took three of the dogs along to get them out of the house, since what dog doesnt like a car ride with their heads out the window? When they returned, they parked in front of my parents house and left the door to the car open to let the dogs out. The dogs would often stubbornly stay in so my brother would leave the door open so they could get out at their leisure. My young nephew was playing around outside and shut the car door. It couldnt have been more than 25 minutes before my sister in law realised her dog was no where to be found. She had some leftover food to give him as a treat and he was no where around. He was still in the car.

           The first of the dogs died within 10 minutes from heat exhaustion. The second to go might as well have been my brother and his wife's first child. They had got him together as a puppy when they had first started dating. My brother immediately ran over to his golden retriever and started doing CPR on him, but he was gone. My brother kept doing compressions on his lifeless chest and screamed "Petey NO!!!! COMEBACK PETEY!!!" The tears welling up in his eyes. It was something right out of the movie 'Old Yeller.' The last one to survive stuck in there and nearly made it to the vet but passed before there was anything they could do. The vet did not even have the heart to bill us. I guess seeing our grief, he realised that the loss we suffered was great enough as it was.
          
               Needless to say, the mood was a somber one from then on out. It is so easy to point fingers at people, when this sort of thing happens and accuse them of being neglectful. I've looked at these situations and thought the exact same thing. But i know in my heart that my brother loved those dogs with every ounce of his being and would NEVER have knowingly hurt them. His guilt was like an unbearable dager, peircing my heart whenever i looked into his eyes. It pained me because i could tell that he blamed himself and would carry this burden to his dying breath.

             The dogs were buried by sundown. My brother had even got some sand and a tennis ball to place on his beloved Petey's grave since playing fetch at the beach had been his favorite activity. We all went to bed, but i could hear my dad's sobbing through the walls. He had lost his dog as well. She had been the last to go. This is a man that i had only heard cry once in my life when his mother died. The next 5 days were excruciating listening to my family grieve. So i headed home a day early to regroup and prepare for my trip.

My adventure begins....

A fairy tale shattered leads to a dream come true

             Perhaps I should start by giving a little backstory and some background information on myself before we embark on this wonderous adventure together. The date was April 2010. I had just found out that my live in boyfriend of the time was cheating on me.... well that's a cliche understatement if i've ever heard one. Let me try again..... I found out the man that I planned to marry, the man i thought was my soulmate, was not the man i thought he was. How did i discover this? Well, lets just say there were dirty emails uncovered, emails telling of plans for secret rendvous in boston, shady lies and even a secret bachelor pad (separate from the home we shared together) complete with big screen TV and an XBOX! So, I know you've heard this story a thousand times so i'll give you the cliff notes version and get to the nitty gritty.
          He and I were supposed to get married and move to Germany together for two years since he was supposed to be stationed there while he was still in the military. So along with the debt he left me and my diappointment of losing my perfect little life and my soulmate, I had also lost my dream to explore Europe. I couldn't have been any more devestated. But, many boxes of tissues and tears later I devised a new plan..... I would make my dreams happen for myself!!! What a concept. My happiness in my own hands? That was upsurd..... or was it?! :)
             Over a year of planning in the making, I'm ready for my big adventure. Three months.... no less than 27 different european cities and a whole LOT of weird experiences along the way. I am jump starting this trip in Spain, where a famous award winning spanish pornstar will be showing me around and more than likely answering a few of my nosy questions on the subject. Then I willl be making my way to pamplona for the san fermin festival also known as the running of the bulls. Then switzerland for bungy jumping and zorbing (If you dont know what that is.... zorbing is a giant inflatable ball that you get into and they roll you down hills like a giant hamster). What possessed me to want to do it? I'm afraid my reasons dont have to much depth or metaphorical insight to them.... It's simple. I saw it in a jackie chan movie, and it looked cool. After that i will be hitting up paris for some retail therapy and of course Italy for some comfort food and then making my way back to spain for a festival called tomatina, which is the worlds largest tomato fight. My trip will be rounded out by heading to Oktoberfest in munich for my birthday (I've even got my authentic beer maiden dress all packed).
             If you want an idea of what it should be like think sex in the city meets andrew zimmermans bizarre foods( i love trying wacky food!), meets brigette marquardt's sexiest beaches meets frommer's travel guide with some extreme sports thrown in the mix. Im going to post pics, videos, travel tips, tricks and what my friends call "brooke-toids"* along the way.

*Brooke-toid: (brook-toe-oid) a brooke-toid is an unusually informative, if not slightly nerdy fact that was thought to be interesting by Brooke herself. Example: did you know that the candaru, or "penis fish" is a parasitic fish found in the amazon. It is attracted to the urea output of the gills of larger fish, however when a human urinates in the amazon, it will swim up the stream of urine into the mans urethra and open its barbs lodging itself in place and causing great discomfort to its host.

LIST OF PLACES I WILL BE GOING: Madrid, pamplona, san sebastian, Paris, Lauterbrunnen, interlaken, innsbruck, venice, rome, pisa, naples, pompeii, siena, florence, cinque terre, nice, avignon, barcelona, valencia, bunol, ibiza, bruges, amsterdam, berlin, prague, cesky krumlov, vienna, grenau, salzburg and munich.